Food report

Hello All!

Haven't had a chance to get to this in a few days. The internet connection sometimes leaves much to be desired.

Had a few very cold days here lately. Luckily, I'm so bundled up I don't realize too much. Today on our way into work it was 27 degrees Fahrenheit but I didn't really notice until the maintenance guys told me.  I felt it later tonight when the wind picked up though! It cuts right through me!

As some of you know, during college I studied for a few months in France. One of the things I realized while there was that the French talk about food like Americans talk about the weather. Example:
Bob: "Man, this is some weather we're having"
Tom: "You can say that again.  I hope this rains clears so I can ride my bike to work"
versus
Pierre: "I had the most amazing creme brulee last night..."
Jacques: "Really! Tell me all about it!"     (<<<very french-sounding accents of course)

Or something like that.  So, for this blog's theme I thought I'd do as the French do and give a food report.  (As I've already fulfilled my obligatory remarks on the weather--ha!)

One of the more notable events of going on an all-inclusive vacation is the food. For those among this readership that have had the pleasure of experienceing an all-inclusive cruise you are no doubt guilty of praising the delectables you'd consumed while aboard the ship. The variety of the tastes, the availability to snack whenever your heart desired, and probably how much you'd eaten! This vacation has some relatable characteristics: we do have variety (goat's milk or goat's milk claiming to be cow's milk or goat's milk claiming to be soy milk), we kinda have availability (providing you can get to the open chow hall on the other side of base), and we will no doubt have those among us that will do the squadron's share of consumption (there's a saying about deployments that you either return "Fit or Fat"). 

However all that said, I'm not the best person to give an accurate report on the chow halls. Instead we get our meals delivered (yea, we're kind of a big deal!) Yet, instead of a hearing the appealing sound of crystal glasses being dinged with a spoon to alert that our food has arrived, we get something like: "Mermites are here!!!"

Mermites: (mher-mites) noun. Informal. 1) Food-like material delivered four times a day in deep metal trays within plastic bins to crews on alert that have no other choice but to eat one of six separate options 2) Possibly below human-grade substances with food sounding names

I've heard the origin of this term is rooted in the name of the company of that manufactures the plastic bins.  However, upon closer inspection I've learned the current name on the side of the carrier case is Carlisle.  So this at least throws out that theory. I've similarly heard that this term of endearment has something to do with the preparation; that all the food is boiled and the current name is a blend of the words mermaid and bites. Although, I'm going to have to throw this one out as well because I have a hard time thinking that the beef stew I ate a few nights ago was in fact boiled (the beef chunks probably were though). While I will continue to search for the real meaning behind the name, I fear the true origin of our beloved "mermites" might be lost forever.

The mermites aren't all that bad though. They at least provide a fair share of the food pyramid requirements. One can choose a protein (chicken or beef ), a starch (always potatoes! just like being in Germany) and some veggies (these are the most varied...however, I've never seen a turnip prepared that way).  One can arguably keep to a balanced diet and even with a halfway adequate fitness regimen might just return in the "Fit" category of the "Fit or Fat" joke.  There is also a dessert choice! We had brownie-cake tonight! I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a chocolate cake, but it was a little too thick and baked a little too long.

If there is one thing about the mermites I can craft some constructive criticism on it is their poor construction. And for all the maintenance guys that accuse me of being "the one that ruined dinner" and now refer to me as, "Captain Stew" I say this to you: it was shoddy workmanship and it wasn't my fault!!! The other night I was helping myself to the aforementioned beef stew. Yet, when I tried to pull the tray from the bin it only slid out about two inches. My other hand was holding my plate, so I gave it another little tug.  Still no dice. Finally, not getting the desired results, I yanked on it. Less than a second later I watched as three gallons of brown slop flung out from the box, stuck to my uniform and proceeded to make the most grotesque Chewbacca-zombie costume ever to grace the hangar.  I was completely engulfed in the stuff!  To make matters worse, I was now (more than I already was before) crunched for time and as I ran in a dead-sprint to the restroom with brown gook running down to my boots and an extra set of pants in my hands people must have only thought the worst! aye!

On that note and with that fun mental image in your heads, I'm off! 

Special thanks to Cassie for the chocolate! It arrived today and I gobbled a few pieces then shared the rest. Unfortunately they deliver the mail in front of the whole group so I was forced to share and not hoard---j/k!....I shared....most of it.

Thanks for all the prayers!

Love, liv